(This is a Pastoral Ministry Tuesday post. It’s a day late. Every week I try to post a “behind the scenes look” at this pastor’s life. It’s an attempt to be more transparent than whiny – i hope I’m finding the balance.)
This is the busiest I’ve ever been in 35 years of pastoral ministry.
And I’m not complaining.
I feel like I’m going madly off in all directions and at the same time I feel like we (my staff and church) are rising to the challenge of this season. This unusual time is forcing us to be more thoughtful and intentional about everything we are doing. It’s like a giant invitation from God to start from the bare lot and build something sustainable and meaningful that requires us to gather more on purpose and less on routine.
Don’t get me wrong. I love liturgy. I love and thrive on rhythm. Those aren’t the same as doing the same thing you’ve always done because that’s how you’ve always done it. We are being invited to find new ways to share life together and I’m finding it as exciting as I am finding it scary.
Right now I feel like my creative fruit is being squeezed hard and there’s hardly anything left over for blogging. I’m producing, by choice, more written word and video content than ever but experiencing God’s grace in the middle of it all.
But please don’t hear me saying I’ve got this down or I’m doing a great job. I’m reminded every day of cracks people are slipping through and follow up that hasn’t happened and items that have been on my to-do list for so long they are applying for permanent resident status. The learning curve is still pretty steep but I feel like we’re throwing ourselves, I’m throwing myself, into this with all I have and finding God waiting for us in this, ready to lead us into something that looks like thriving.
I’m choosing a posture of desire – I want to thrive in this season. Not over-achieve. I just want to get the most out of this season that I can possibly squeeze. I don’t want to miss a single drop of what God has for me and for our church in this unusual time. I’m not trying to over complicate my life or everyone else’s daily routine – a lot of people are working very hard to keep their heads above water right now. But I know God has good things for us and I don’t want to miss a thing.
I heard someone say last night that our tendency is to look back at our past and get stuck there or to look ahead to our future and get stuck there meanwhile we miss the moment we are in. This is a real temptation for me right now and I’m asking God to deliver me from it. I want to want to stay in this moment and some days that takes every ounce of God’s empowering presence to be able to do that. My internal introvert is already going around the house wearing a “People Need People” t-shirt and my internal extrovert keeps waving at anyone and everyone from the upstairs windows.
I’m ready for this to be over so I can take a vacation.
I’m hungry for this to continue until I feel like God’s pulled everything out of me that he wants to grow in this strange season of too much time in which I can hardly keep up with all there is to do.
O.K. I’ve gotta go, I still have 3 new skills to learn today so we can get our online service ready for Resurrection Sunday…
Peace of Christ to you.