These digital memos from a senior devil to his stepson devil in training have come into my possession. Ordinarily I wouldn’t pass along thoughts from the Underworld (at least knowingly) but these seem important enough to share. I will publish them once a week beginning today.
I’ve heard from your mother that you’ve finally been given your first assignment. And to a pastor of one of the Enemy’s communities. A begrudging congratulations. I always told your mother you had tremendous potential that you would never fulfill. This will be your chance to prove me right. Again.
Unfortunately, your mother has impressed upon me that I should offer you aid in this first assignment since you have the opportunity to fail in such a spectacular fashion that it would bring greater shame on both of us. Mostly her. So I will take it upon myself to offer you my expert advice on making your Patient as dysfunctional as possible in their role in the Enemy’s efforts to undermine our father below.
I will send you a series of memos that will serve you well if you follow my directions to the letter and do exactly as I say to do. You can rely on my infernal experience this once in order to make a name for yourself and to get your mother off my leathery back.
What I am proposing to you is that we imitate the accursed Benedict and help your Patient develop a rule of life, a dysfunctional rule of life, and in following this rule your Patient will not only become successful in all the ways that we measure success but he will also be made to feel secure by the illusory protection and control these dysfunctional rules will provide. Ultimately, if you truly succeed and do as I say, we’ll not only get your Patient but we’ll twist the Enemy’s story so badly the community they pastor will trade their birthright for a bowl of our delicious gruel.
After I have reviewed the file you sent me I will commence sending you the digital memos. I need not remind you to keep these memos in a password protected file. I hope you are using a better password than you did when you still lived with us. Anyone could guess “passwordhell” and you only proved you were not as clever as you think you are. I don’t need to tell you what I will do to you if these memos get forwarded to your friends and my upline supervisor finds out I’ve given you aid.
Between now and then, have your Patient read as many books on business leadership as you can get them to read. I will be sending you my first memo shortly.
Your affectionate stepfather,